Breastfeeding in Public: It's None of Your Damn Business

Have you guys heard about the woman who breastfed during her college graduation ceremony and had a photo taken while nursing?

You can read about it here if you haven't yet:

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5474420

So here's the deal:

WHO FUCKING CARES?!

This woman is (in my opinion) an inspiration:

1. A single mother

2. Gave birth one week into her final semester is college

3. Continued and finished school

4. Graduated with a Bachelors degree

5. Is able to breastfeed her child

Please give me one reason why this hardworking woman should NOT be able to FEED HER BABY WHO IS HUNGRY anywhere she damn well pleases?

Oh, you say she should cover up? Use a nursing cover? Do you know that this graduation was in California and in JUNE?! Who the hell would want to have on a cover (in addition to a graduation gown!) in that kind of heat? Furthermore, what baby would want their face covered up in that kind of heat?

Oh, she should have just gone to the bathroom? GROSS. Let me see you go have a bite to eat in the same place where people take a crap. Go on.

Oh, a graduation ceremony just isn't the time or place for breastfeeding? So her baby should just starve and scream her head off during the ceremony? That's better. Oh, she should've just given her a bottle. Pause.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BREASTFEED?

1. Sometimes it takes weeks, nay, MONTHS to become comfortable and successful. 

2. Some moms have to pump EVERY 2 HOURS to keep up a supply. That includes during the night.

3. Giving a breastfed baby a bottle can (but not always in some cases) deter a baby from taking the breast and even lower the mothers supply. 

This mother has studied her ass off, grown a baby, pushed a baby out of her vagina (or had a cesarean, but that's neither here nor there), worked hard at feeding her baby, ALL ON HER FUCKING OWN. Oh, and GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE. And people have the audacity to comment on her photo - HER PROUDEST MOMENT OF HER LIFE - to say that she was "wrong" and a "ho."

Here are some tips for anyone who is "uncomfortable" with public breastfeeding:

1. It's none of your damn business

2. Don't look

3. That mom doesn't want to know what you think about it unless it's something along the lines of, "You're a good mom."

I only breastfed my daughter for 3 weeks. Kind of. And never in public. BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE DAMNED IF YOU THINK I WILL NOT STICK UP FOR THOSE WOMEN THAT CAN AND DO.

Floppity-flop-flop

So, last Friday I posted that:

YAY WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO USE THIS BLOG AS A VENUE TO SHARE OUR WOMAN STORIES AND CHANGE THE WORLD. 

Yeah. 

I didn't receive a single story (except for the 2 that are comments on my original post - HOLLA LADIES!).

Lesson:

It takes a lot to change the world. To change society's ways of thinking. 

But I do feel like I reached a few people by sharing my own stories. And I know that it's hard to tell your stories, even the small ones. I know that it may feel like your story doesn't "measure up" unless you were raped or worse. BUT YOUR STORIES DO MATTER. All of them. 

Just know that if your story made your feel vulnerable or uncomfortable or confused - those are valid feelings. You don't have to feel as if you have no right to feel that way because your story "isn't that bad." 

Anyway, as the #YesAllWomen train is dying down, don't forget what the point is: You matter. We matter. 

Share Your Stories

Hi Readers!

The #YesAllWomen movement has really touched me.  The point of the movement (that’s what I’m calling it now…because, hello?!) is to show people (men and women, alike) that #YesAllWomen are faced with misogyny at some point, in some way. That #YesAllWomen fear the possibility of sexual violence. #YesAllWomen have a story. #YesAllWomen have stories that MATTER.

In my last post, I shared a few stories from my own life. These are memories that I wish I didn’t have. No, I have not been a victim of a larger sexual crime. But that’s not the point. The point is, that no matter how “small” a story may seem, it’s not small. It’s HUGE. All of the instances of women being made to feel as if they owe a man their body, the butt-pinching, the guilt-trips for saying “no,” the harassment for having big boobs (or small boobs) matter. They all matter. Every single one.

So here’s my proposal:

What if we shared our stories with one another? With the world? What if we told our stories and had supportive friends there to tell us, “hey! That’s bullshit!” What if we put our stories out there and let society know that words hurt, that sexual advances are not always welcome, that a slap on the ass isn’t a compliment? What if we shared the small stories and the big stories so that everyone can see that the behavior shouldn’t be considered “normal?” What if these stories helped someone? WHAT IF?

I am teaming up with FUSE (Feminism, Unity, Strength (in numbers), and Equality) to get these stories out in the open and create a new awareness. FUSE is a group dedicated to “empower[ing] women to control and enrich their lives by establishing an online presence to educate and organize…where open dialogue is encouraged and each…contribution is valued. To evolve[ing] from patriarchy so equality and independence thrive.” I couldn’t ask for a better group to host these stories. I just know that the amount of support and unity will be overwhelming. You should totally go “like” their facebook page, We Are FUSE.

I will be posting new stories (anonymous or not!) to my blog each Friday (“Feminist Fridays,” HOLLA!). Please feel free to submit any, I mean ANY, stories that are relevant. Remember: EVERY STORY MATTERS. You matter. Your feelings matter.

Please submit your stories to:confessionsofawannabeshare@gmail.com

 

#YesAllWomen

This is important. So very, very important. 

Did you know that misogyny is so ingrained in our society that some women may not even know when they are being mistreated as a sexual object? It's so common that it's seen as normal when a man treats a woman badly upon her rejection of his advances. It's so rampant that until recently, I didn't even realize that I had been a victim myself. #YesAllWomen are constantly threatened with male violence. #YesAllWomen are affected by misogyny. 

I've decided to share my stories. You know, there are probably more than I can remember, more than I can count. These are going to be blunt and to the point. So sue me. I feel obligated to share my experiences. In light of the death of the great Maya Angelou, I feel that now that I know better, I must do better. Now that I have a daughter, I want her to know that it is her absolute and positive RIGHT stand up in the face of misogyny.

Here are my #YesAllWomen moments:

- I was 13 years old. A family member threw ice down the front of my shirt...then retrieved it with his bare hands. I just told my mom about it last month. I'm 26.

- In 9th grade, a male friend pinched my butt outside the school, in front of the bus loading zone. I told him to knock it off. He "didn't mean anything by it."

- In 10th grade, I was at a beach party with my friends. The guys yelled at my friend and I to "show us your boobs!" My friend did it. I didn't. I was a "loser."

- In 11th grade, I lied to my parents and stayed the night at a friends' house with my boyfriend, his friend and my friend. It was my boyfriend's birthday. He "wanted to see boobs." I chickened out. My friend didn't. My boyfriend got mad at me and thought it was "stupid" that I was angry with my friend. 

- At the end of 12th grade, I was still a virgin. My boyfriend asked if he could "just put it in for a second." I said no. He got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

- In my sophomore year of college, I started hanging out with a friend from high school. One day, he asked me out. I told him no, I only think of him as a friend. He told me that "the best relationships start with friendship." I said no again. He called me a "bitch." We never spoke again.

These are just a few scenarios. I'm sure that there were more, and I'm sure other women have experienced much worse. But the main point is:

#YESALLWOMEN 

What's your story?

Avery is 11 Months Old!

So, next month Avery will be A YEAR OLD. Um...WHAT?!

As far as the next month goes...we are planning on having just a small birthday party at our home with family and some cake. Avery doesn't need much more than that. From us, Avery will be getting a  10 day punch card for Bounce in Hartland, where she can participate in "preschool playtime," using all of the gymnastics equipment they have there. She's going to LOVE it.

Here's a little update on our sweet pea:

She's still a peanut (with a big belly, lol) : 9 month clothing fits her just fine, thankyouverymuch.

6 teeth...and counting. Oh, and are those sharp little buggers. She's bitten a few times...not in anger though. I think she uses her teeth to help her stand sometimes...or something. 

WE HAVE A (kinda) WALKER. Avery has (on numerous occasions) taken up to 4 steps at a time. She still thinks crawling is faster, and for her, it is.

She doesn't want her diaper changed, no way, no how. It takes 2 people most times. Yesterday, she caused a scene in the Costco bathroom...let's just say it involved a bare shitty ass on the changing table. It wasn't pretty.

Bath time is still the best! Avery got some new toys for the bath and just loves to play in the water!

She's a really good eater. If we go out, the waiters are always shocked at how much this kid can put away.

Favorite snack: seaweed. Yes, seaweed. Look, I didn't know it would be a thing. It's weird. She LOVES it.

Still sharing the bed with mommy and daddy. I think dad is getting tired of it, but as much as I don't enjoy Avery being restless during the night, I love her snuggles even more.

We're down to 2 babas a day - one in the morning and one at night. Occasionally she will take a bottle midday, but not often, and it's not a formula one, but almond milk.

Avery says, "mama," "didi (dada)," and shakes her head "no" when she doesn't want something or when she knows we are telling her "no." (She's been doing that for a while now, though)

Avery loves to dance!

Disney Jr. Is her fave channel: Doc McStuffins, Sofia the First, and Sheriff Callie's Wild West are her favorite shows.

She loves her books (just like mommy)!

Her hair keeps getting thicker and curlier by the day.

Avery has some cool new kicks (Nikes) that daddy bought her last weekend! She loves standing with them on.

And Avery had her very first pedicure this weekend: pretty pink little toesies!

I think that's all the updates on our big, beautiful girl!

 

Avery is 10 Months Old!

Avery turned 10 months old yesterday and I can't believe it...she will be ONE YEAR OLD IN 2 MONTHS.

We have a one-legged-speed crawler on our hands...she's super quick and super naughty.

Avery loves the remote control (not the one that doesn't have batteries that we have her to play with) and when we take that away, she knows where other various remote controls are located and just goes to get those.

Avery's favorite room in the house is the bathroom! There are so so many things to do in there: flush the toilet, unroll the toilet paper, almost pull the over-the-toilet shelf thing on top of her...you know, fun stuff.

Pads and tampons (not used, duh) are fascinating toys! Just about every morning Avery dumps the boxes out on the floor to "sort."

Changing tables, jackets, boots, hats, gloves, clothes and diapers in general are the devil. Avery would just rather not.

Avery's room is used so little (never) that it is currently a holding cell for bins of stuff she has outgrown and her clean clothes that have not yet been put away. 

Still bed sharing.

Avery LOVES water. She loves to drink it, splash it, poop in it, all the things.

Avery says, "MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA." It's in all caps because she only yells it at me. And her dad. 

Avery is a pre-gymnast. She throws herself back and starts kicking her legs over to flip. She will be receiving a "preschool playtime" gymnastics 10 class punch card for her birthday.

Avery loves to terrorize her brother, Auto. He's still scared of her/hoping she will be moving out soon, so she decided that chasing him around and giving him near heart attacks on a daily basis was a good idea.

She laughs at us when we tell her, "no." 

Avery gives really good kisses. She'll even slip you some tongue if you're lucky. And she likes to kiss babies. She actually just wants to collect all the babies. She was eyeing a newbie last night when we were out to eat. 

Still feeding herself all sorts of foods. Mostly bread at the moment. Oh and those gross squeezie fruit things. She likes those too. For now. A few days ago she only like black olives, so yeah.

Curly hair. 

Um, that's it I think.

Oh. And Avery does not like Abe Lincoln.

How To Relate to Your Newly Pregnant or New Mommy Friends (as told by a new mommy)

Here's a little lesson for all you clueless m-effers out there (who probably don't spend time reading this blog anyway):

1. Pregnancy is an exciting, terrifying and eye-opening experience! Do NOT belittle it with comments such as these: 

 (Guess what? I'm pregnant!!!)         "Cool."

(You'll never believe it! I'm pregnant!!!)

"I can't see you as a mom, but congrats!"

(I'm pregnant!!)

"(crickets)"

(Hey! We're having a baby!)

"Your life is over."

2. Realize that for some, having a family is part of the "plan." Just because someone's "plan" differs from your own does not make their "plan" any less important or ambitious as yours. 

3. If your first thought at someone's pregnancy announcement is, "what good are you now? We can't have fun anymore!" Chances are, you were never a very good friend to begin with. 

4. If you DO NOT have children and/or have not put a great deal of thought into having them, you DO NOT get to give out unwarranted "advice" or "tips." You just don't.

5. If a new mom is ASKING for advice, please give it...in a way that sounds like a suggestion so as not to offend her and her trials and tribulations as a new mother, and really only give it if you have any experience (even a teeny bit).

6. A new baby does not mean that a new mother will not want to hang out with her friends ever - please still invite her to hang! She is not dead, comatose, or a mute monk. She is still your friend.

7. A new baby does mean that a new mom may not want to see your face for 3 months after birthing said baby. It's not because she doesn't value your friendship, it's because she is tired, unshowered, walking around with her tits out and a baby dangling from them, and she just wants to watch Netflix all day. 

8. If a new mom is excited about her child and posting photos to social media all the time DO NOT write a status such as the following: 

"Seriously, if I see one more photo of a baby that just hiccupped or pooped for the first time, I'm gonna barf. No one cares about your kid like that! It's just as bad as posting a pic of every meal you eat!"

This type of behavior just indicates that you are: 

a. Single 

b. In a relationship with no kids

or 

c. A giant asshole

9. If you don't have anything nice to say (and you want to keep your child-bearing friends around) just smile and nod. A little cooing over baby pics occasionally won't hurt either.

10. Although yes, newly preggers and mothers alike love to be doted on and fussed over to some extent, it DOES NOT mean that it is expected or needed. However, a little excitement when your dear friend honors you with the gift of being a part of their child's life will go a long way in maintaining the friendship. 

The end.

Kisses - H.

Avery is 9 months old!

Avery has now been out in the world for (about) the same amount of time she was in my belly! And my, is she such a big girl!

We went to the pediatrician yesterday and our little girl is getting big!

17 lbs. 13.5 oz. (a little under the 50th percentile) and 28 (!!!) inches (75-90th percentile). She's our tall and skinny little one (but she still got some thunder thighs!). 

Avery is eating more now - she eat just about an entire serving of whatever we are having for dinner (or lunch or breakfast). She loves bread still and her fruit and loves to slurp noodles!

She's standing on her own more and more...I'm sure we will have a walker within the next few months.

Avery is now a skilled crawler - she can get places so quickly, we have to keep a close eye on her. Her favorite location in our house is the bathroom, where she likes to takes baths, sit in an empty bay to play with her bath toys and flush the toilet.

Avery also loves playing in mommy's closet!

She's going through a little "mommy only" phase right now - she has little interest in being with her daddy unless it's to cuddle right before she falls asleep on the couch. Daddy's not too happy with it, but I'm sure this will pass!

Avery LOVES water and drinks it all throughout the day from a sippy cup.

I think we have a little gymnast on our hands - Avery loves to be tossed around and flipped upside down!

The pointer finger has come out! Avery enjoys poking everything with her little finger. 

She (kinda) knows what 'no' means - Avery likes to touch things and when you tell her 'no' she stops, turns around clasping her hands together, smiles (and sometimes claps) then usually continues doing what she was not supposed to be doing. She's so darn cute though!

Avery likes to yell back at Auto when he barks.

She loves attention from anyone who will give it!

Avery has sprouted a top tooth...and now grinds her 3 little teeth together. It's a repulsive noise. We try to distract her with teethers...it doesn't work.

We are still bed sharing every night. Sometimes it's a little difficult because now Avery is kicking in her sleep instead of just tossing and turning, but I still love having her close at night.

I can't believe that we will have a one year old in 3 short months! Avery is so teeny still, it's hard to imagine! As of right now, we are just planning a day outing with the 3 of us and then cake with family later. Avery has everything she needs and wants right now so we don't feel the need to throw her a big party. We'd rather give her more experiences than toys she won't even play with at this point. 

After writing this, I can't even wait to get home and get some of those big, wet, tongue-kisses from our little girl!

The Lazy Mom

I'm a lazy mom and I'm not ashamed. 

Here's my lazy mom 101:

1. Cloth diapering: you never have to go to the store to buy diapers! Just wash the dirty ones and reuse. This lazy tidbit has a bonus: environmentally friendly! Who knew you could be lazy and a hippie too?!

2. Baby-led weaning: make dinner. Plop it on your kid's tray. Watch them scarf food. While you scarf food. No feeding baby spoonful by spoonful or making nasty purees! Just give 'em what everyone else is having!

3. Baby wearing: who has time to entertain a kiddo and cook dinner or wash clothes or frolic around at the same time? Slap your kid in a wrap or a sling and carry on with your business!

4. Go tubless: donate that baby tub! We used ours a total of maybe 3 times. Instead, Avery either showers with her daddy or takes a bath! I'm too lazy to control a wiggly kid in that little slippery tub - hey, you save water too by bathing together!

5. Bed-sharing: got a babe who wakes up all night? Too lazy to get up and soothe her? Just let her sleep in your bed (with caution, of course). Who doesn't love baby snuggles? I mean, sure you may wake up with a finger in your nose or little toesies in your back, but you didn't have to get out of bed, right? Right!

6. Less toys, more fun (for you): ok - those toys may be fun to buy, but does your kid really need that dollhouse or video game system before the age of 1? The answer is: NO. Also, do you really want to clean up all those crying baby dolls and video game controllers? I think not. Trust me, your kid will be just fine with a few wood blocks, a ball and a little toy car. Or just a box. Really.

7. Ditch the creams, ointments and lotions: ugh. Who has time to sort through all the different diaper creams, ointments and baby lotions out there? Not me. Also, I'm lazy. So I use coconut oil - for everything. Got a rashy kid? Coconut oil. Got a kid with a cut on their butt from scratching too much (this happened)? Coconut oil. Dry skinned kiddo? Coconut, beotches.

8. TV: so, this is your babysitter when you want to have the luxury of a shower. That's it. The only way a shower happens is if Blues Fucking Clues is playing. I don't know what the not-lazy mom does when she needs to shower, but the lazy mom DEFINITELY uses the TV.

9. Teething tablets: when those teefers are coming in, it could be the only thing that shuts your little one up. Also, pop 'em for restless babes too! So easy.

10. Do your research: this is the KEY to being a lazy mom. Research EVERYTHING. Do what works for your family. A lazy mom is one who is informed. You can't expect to know the tricks of you don't look them up! So do your research and don't just follow those "super moms" blindly!

Resol-what?

Resolutions. Ugh. Everyone makes them, almost no one follows through, myself included. Why? Why is it so hard to follow through with a resolution? I don't have an answer. Maybe it's because...what the hell is a resolution in terms of bettering yourself? 

According to the Miriam-Webster online dictionary:

Resolution

: the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. : the act of resolving something

: an answer or solution to something

: the ability of a device to show an image clearly and with a lot of detail

Well, we can pretty much rule out the last definition, unless of course you are a device that made a resolution to improve your resolution. Erm.

The other two defs - hm. I guess of you think of it in terms of (for example) I'm overweight so my resolution is to work on losing weight by doing A, B and C...then that works.

Would we be more effective though if we welcomed each new year with a set of specific GOALS rather than a vague resolution? 

Probably not. But I'm gonna give it a go anyway.

My GOALS for 2014:

1. Adopt improved eating habits: why do we have to specifically label ourselves per the way we eat? "I'm a vegan," good for you! "I'm a vegetarian," go you! "I'm a pescatarian," aw so sad, you're not as good as those other folk, "omnivore, but paleo, of course," well la-dee-da. I'm done with that. Healthy eating. That's it for me. Now, my definition of healthy eating is probably different from someone else's, but that's ok. I'm not looking to be defined by my diet (but the wannabe part of me really envies those Vegans).

2. I'm not even putting working out on this list. Pfffft. Maybe I'll walk some. 

3. Take more photos! Whether it be of my own kid or scheduled sessions (which would be awwwwesome!), I just want to get some more practice.

4. Deep clean my house and keep up on the cleaning! This will involve my husband whether he likes it or not. I'm so sick of living in a cluster-fuck of clutter.

5. Work on updating our home. Or just buy a new one. 

6. Do more things as a family. Now that Avery is getting older, we can start planning some family adventures. 

7. Improving my relationship with my husband. I hope this is on his list too. Things have been so busy lately (which isn't really an excuse) and we've lost not only time to ourselves but time with each other. It would be nice to just get back into that happy/excited phase. We need to have more fun. And maybe put down the remote control and candy crush in the evenings. 

8. Read more books! Better yet - renew my damned library card so my kid and I can spend time in the library. It's been too long.

Those are my main goals for 2014 - did you set goals too or are you just sticking with the vague resolutions? No judgement here ;)

Avery is 8 months old!

Avery turned 8 months old on Thursday (the same day her daddy had knee surgery, which is why this post is late). I feel like I say this same thing every month: I can't believe how time has flown and Avery is growing so much. But it's true every month! 

Avery is "crawling." I mean, she can get around now. It may not be too graceful but it works for her.

Avery can sometimes stand on her own...for a few seconds. She has taken one step by herself. I hesitate to call it her "first step" because she isn't yet walking on her own. 

Ever since she was 3 months old, all Avery had wanted to do is walk - she's so excited that it is finally so close to becoming reality! In other news: we are in deep, deep trouble.

Avery loves to eat! She will eat just about anything! 

She can pull herself up to standing - and loves it. The bars on our bed, her crib, the baby gate and the ottoman are her favorite standing places. 

I'm pretty sure Avery has started teething again. This time it's the top teeth. I can't see anything yet, but I just know that they are coming. We've been using Hyland's teething tablets again. 

Avery talks herself to sleep in the car almost every time. 

We have quite the little flirt on our hands! Over the weekend, she was flirting SO HARD at the store. Like, yelling at a guy and laughing and smiling so he would just look at her. 

Avery smiles at EVERYONE. She loves the word "cute," knows that it refers to herself, and promptly smiles in return or looks around, even craning her neck at times, to smile at whoever just said she was "so cute."

She's sassy - always yelling at us.

She also growls. It's kinda weird. Like, if someone that didn't know her and heard the amount of time during the day that she spends growling (either at others, to herself or at her toys), I'm pretty sure they would think she was raised by wild animals.

Avery can clap! She knows to clap she someone says, "patty cake," and "bake a cake." If you tell her to "bake a cake," she will clap. 

Avery still loves her carriers - we used the ergo for the first time this weekend and she loved it! She still loves the ktan wrap though, it must be more snuggly and comforting because she will nap in it and not in the ergo. The wrap is getting tough though because I'm pretty sure my neck and shoulders are not happy after carrying her a long time in it! She's getting so big!

Blues Clues is her favorite tv show...still. I think we've watched the same episode about 200 times now. Probably an exaggeration, but she does watch it at least one time per day so mommy can get stuff done around the house.

We are still bed sharing. Avery starts out in her crib and then we being her to our bed about halfway through the night. On the nights that Avery is in bed with us and actually sleeps all night, I love it. I still love it even if she doesn't sleep all night, but sometimes having a foot in my ribs or a finger up my nose is a little disturbing while trying to sleep ;) 

I am so in love with our little girl - I truly could not ask for a sweeter, happier, easier baby. I know we are so so lucky to have an easy baby so I try not to brag much about her. Also, I just want to point out that no matter how much I rave about not letting my baby cry it out or how bed sharing is awesome or how baby led weaning is great - it is NEVER to  make a statement about how our way of parenting is right, or better. Every child is different, every family is different. What works for one may not work for all or may not even be an option for some. I can't even say that we will be able to do the same things with our next child - each one is so different. 

Avery is developing so quickly now, it's like each day is a new adventure. I can't wait to see what's next!

Avery is 7 months old!

So, our kid has made it 7 months now and she just keeps on developing her own little personality. She's stubborn and flirty and friendly and funny and impatient and nosy and smart. And we love her so much.

Avery isn't crawling yet. She doesn't care for being on her belly so she just flips over every time and prefers to get around by scooting with the back of her head. She did scoot in her butt a bit last night...but only because she really, really, really wanted my pizza.

Eating is going really well! It wasa slow start, but Avery's palate is expanding: her favorites are breads, green beans, squashes, cucumbers and frozen blueberries and pineapple. She also eats scrambled eggs, pasta, lettuce (weird but she likes to suck on it), tomatoes, potatoes and some other stuff that I'm probably forgetting.

She can still wear 3 month onesies, but 3 month pants are too short yet fit around the waist. She can also wear 6 month clothing although some are still too big. 

Avery has discovered her loud voice - screaming is something that can regularly be heard throughout our house. And growling. And creepy rhythmic growling when she's "talking" herself to sleep in the car. Our kid is kinda weird. 

Still cloth diapering at home. Gramma uses disposables most of the time at her house during the day when she's watching Avery, but she's starting to have a reaction to them so I think we need to invest in more cloth so she can have some during the week days. 

Avery's hair fit into its first little ponytail the other day! It's just a pokey little thing and really serves no purpose, but it's so damn cute (and even more so with 2)!

Still having some trouble sleeping through the night. We are working on thinking of some way to make the nights easier for Avery (and for us!) but our plan will still not include crying it out. Maybe a little more fussing but no crying. 

I have a confession: I was super against letting Avery watch TV at all as a baby...but she loves it. I've recently discovered that her love for Blue's Clues reruns surpasses all and "Steve" is an excellent baby sitter, giving me time to shower and get ready some mornings. Or eat. Or do laundry. Or just sit. Don't judge.

Avery loves to sit on the floor and play with her toys (which are few, but we kind of like it that way!) or in her high hair with spoons, spatulas and measuring cups.

Avery is 6 months old

Avery turned 6 months old on Saturday and I truly cannot believe that my baby has been in the world for half of a year! Seth and I have been blessed with one of the happiest, most good natured baby I've known and we couldn't be more proud of her. 

At the pediatrician yesterday, Avery's growth is right on point: 14 lbs. 6 oz. (25th %), 26.5 in long (50-75th %), and a head circumference of 16.5 in (50th %). Still a peanut, still in 3 month and 3 to 6 month clothing!

We have been practicing our own form of attachment parenting with Avery - no crying it out, baby wearing, lots of kisses and hugs and attention and love - and it's working so wonderfully for us. I don't think we ever thought of ourselves as capable of being "attached" parents, but once you get past the stigmas created by modern parenting, attachment parenting is really just the most natural thing, and comes to us so naturally. 

Avery is becoming so independent (which is true of most babies raised with attachment parenting, contrary to what some people think) and wants to do things on her own so badly. 

She is a fan of "standing" and "walking." Neither can be done on her own yet but it's all she wants to do!

Avery can sit on her own and loves to play on the floor with her toys.

Beverages are a new love of Avery's. Anything that looks as if she can drink out of it (thermoses, pop cans, cups, whatever) she wants it. She doesn't actually get to drink out of it, but just putting her mouth to it is enough.

Avery has 2 teeth! Right on the bottom. We didn't even realize she was getting a tooth when the first one poked through (I think the amber necklace works!) but she's having a bit of trouble with the second tooth. Not too bad, just some extra fussing in the evenings. 

Avery wants to get hold of her puppy-brother, Auto, soooo badly but he just doesn't want her. We keep telling him he's in trouble when she becomes mobile. 

Still hates being on her belly so now that she can roll over, she does it almost the instant her belly hits the floor!

She still loves phones and tablets and computers - which can be a bit tricky when we need to use them and she's trying to steal our phones away to play!

Babyled weaning is a slow process, but Avery is enjoying eating more every day! So far she has tried: avocado, bananas, butternut squash, mango, pineapple, carrots, apples, sweet potatoes and regular potatoes (and chocolate...on accident...because macarons are delicious - that was only a one time thing and only a teeny taste). She seems to be enjoying her squash the most right now! 

Avery is 5 months old (and 3 days)

It's crazy how time flies - 5 months with our sweet pea has gone by so quickly and she's grown so much!

Avery is becoming more and more aware of her surroundings each day - especially with her puppy-brother, Auto. She really wants to get him - he should probably prepare himself for when she becomes mobile!

She can sit up on her own, although she's still not entirely stable. She's so easy going though, that even if she face-plants, she just lies there quietly under someone helps her back up (it's pretty funny, actually). 

Avery WAS sleeping through the night...until she turned 4 months old. Now she wakes up once per night and needs a bottle. 

The first half of the night is spent in her crib in her own room, the second half of the night (after her bottle) is spent in our room in her rocker. 

As far as her bedtime routine - still reading a story and taking a bottle and rocking her to sleep. Crying it out is just not an option for us, and I really believe that this is why we have such a happy little girl. 

Baby drool is a big part of our life right now - Avery really just has unlimited amounts of it and can't keep it in her mouth! No teething going on yet, just lots of drool. 

Avery is the proud owner of an exersaucer and loves the freedom it gives her to stand and play on her own.

Her tongue is out almost all the time! We keep telling her that she's gonna regret sticking it out so much once she's gets some teeth in her mouth.

Still on formula only. Since we are planning on skipping rice cereal and puréed foods and doing baby led weaning, we are waiting until Avery shows signs of being ready to eat: sitting up on her own, grasping things well, showing an interest in food, etc. she's just not quite there yet...but soon will be!

Avery is still just a peanut - wearing 3 month clothing and only some 3-6 month sizes. 

She's been sleeping on her tummy lately. This made us really nervous at first, but she seems to be just fine with it. 

Rolling over is taking some time - Avery's only done it a handful of times, and can only tolerate being on her belly (awake) for about 10 minutes or so...she would rather be sitting up or standing (with help of course).

Avery loves to scratch things! I think she likes the sound it makes. She scratches couches, pillows, counter tops, everything!

Avery loves to laugh at Auto!

She knows who mommy and daddy are and smiles when we enter a room.

Avery LOVES cell phones!

Avery and mommy are still loving baby wearing - we often cook dinner hooked together!

Our happy baby is such a blessing - can't wait to see what this month brings! 

(Fall colors and pumpkins are PERFECT timing for 6 month photos!)

treat yoself

So, I have officially become a hippie. Again. Yesterday. And I'm really excited about it.

After struggling with these first few periods postpartum, I've finally taken some action. I bought the Diva Cup. And I'm in LOVE. 

Back story: I gave birth vaginally almost 5 months ago. My baby was teeny, but she seems to have effed some stuff up on her way out anyway. Like, how do you not even completely fill a tampon but still bleed past it anyway?! I don't really know, but it happened. I've gotten really sick and tired of constantly running to the bathroom to save my pants from looking like I just stabbed myself in the vag. 

I read about the Diva Cup a whole ago on a few different natural living websites and it has gotten really great reviews. I don't know why it's taken me so long to actually purchase one (probably I'm just lazy). 

The Diva Cup is a reusable menstrual cup. Yes, you stick it up your vag. Yes, you have to dump/wash it out. Yes, you reuse it over and over again (cue all the "ewwww that's so nasty," "I could never do that," "it's disgusting," "you have to put your hand up there?!" and all the other comments that I know are going though some of your minds). 

You know what? If you're comfortable with your own body, then this kind of thing really shouldn't seem problematic to you (but that's another topic, entirely). 

Here's all the pluses to the Diva Cup:

You know that "schlump" feeling when you gush blood onto a pad? There's none of that.

You know the uncomfortable feeling of pulling out a tampon that isn't filled up? Gone.

The feeling of an overloaded tampon falling out? Nada.

Wearing a diaper pad to bed? No way.

You can wear the Diva Cup for UP TO 12 HOURS. Do you know what you can do in 12 hours without having to worry about bleeding everywhere? Sleep. And other stuff too.

You spend $40 once and then you don't have to buy tampons and pads and panty liners ever again. 

It comes with a cute little bag to put it in after your period is over.

It's earth friendly!

It's toilet friendly (because you don't need to flush any used tampons, ya know?)!

Your dog won't be able to trail chewed up bloody pad through the house again (you're lying if you say this has never happened to you)!

You can't feel the darn thing once it's positioned correctly.

Ok, I admit it takes a few practice tries to get it right, but to me, that is a hell of a lot better than feeling nasty on my period. 

So, yeah. I'm in love. 

And if you know what's good for you, you will go get one of these thingies for yourself.

Treat yoself - you and your vag deserve it.

pulling for results (hopefully)

Oil pulling. Have you heard of it? I had a few times here and there on natural living blogs, but never seriously considered trying it. Until last week.

My tooth was hurting a little bit. I opened my mouth and looked in the mirror. I'm pretty sure I have like, 3 small cavities. I don't think I've ever had a cavity before. I also haven't been to the dentist in like 4 years (hangs head in shame). 

I was browsing Facebook the same day that I found those little black spots and saw that one of my Facebook friends was starting to oil pull. And I thought, "ok, maybe I should give this a go." Then I saw this blog post http://trinaholden.com/healing-cavities-a-true-weve-done-it-story/

and decided that maybe this could really help 

me out.

I'm using coconut oil and I have to admit that 

unless you melt your oil prior to putting it in 

your mouth, it's kinda gross.

You have to chew the oil to melt it...it's weird. 

Anyway, you swish the oil in your mouth for 15-

20 minutes (in the morning, before brushing).

And don't spit coconut oil down the sink or it 

will clog when it cools down!

You can use pretty much any oil, but I've heard 

that coconut tastes the best and olive oil can

 leave a yellow film on your teeth, and nobody 

wants that.

Also, don't swallow the oil! It's pulling out all the

 yucky toxins and bacteria from your mouth and

 you don't want to ingest that...gross!

So lets hope this works! I should get Seth to try 

it out too...he really needs to jump on my 

healthy living bandwagon.

Avery is 4 months old!

It's been a third of a year. Can you believe it?! Baby girl is still so teeny...I can't believe she's 4 months old!

Avery is still a peanut: 12 lbs 3 oz (25th percentile) and 24 in long (50th percentile). And she got more shots today (we cried together).

Avery is always smiling and happy! She wakes up at 5 am with the biggest smile on her face and it makes my day, every day.

She laughs! It's so cute! Laughing gives her hiccups, which makes her laugh harder. Things that make Avery laugh: saying boo!, her puppy-brother, Auto, daddy fake laughing, kisses from her piggy and monkey toys, and when mommy tips her backwards.

Avery is a big flirt. She will smile and bat her lashes - and it works. Everyone is in love with her.

Avery went to urgent care for the first time on August 9 - her left eye got red, puffy and leaky so we thought there was something in it. She had a blocked tear duct, so nothing serious, but we have some eye drops. Her eye was better by 2 days later.

We have switched to "big girl bottles" because Avery is sometimes eating 6 oz of formula and her little bottles only hold 4 or 5 oz. 

Cloth diapers are still working great! We do need to get some more though...

I've put away almost all of the newborn sized clothing. Except for a few things, Avery is able to wear most 0-3 month and 3 month sizes. She's still such a little peanut. 

Gramma and Grampa Ash bought Avery an exersaucer for their house - and she loves it! The toys are easy for her to play with because they are stationary and she gets to do her favorite thing - stand!

Oh yeah, standing is Avery's favorite thing to do. She can even take steps (being held of course). We are in trouble.

Avery has discovered that technology is a wonderful thing - she loves our phones! She loves to watch videos of herself, cartoons and music videos.

Um, Avery loves the Miley Cyrus song, "we can't stop" and also loves the creepy, skanky video that goes along with it. Oops. 

We have installed Avery's "big girl" carseats - all in ones. She still uses the infant carrier but having multiple carseats makes it a bit easier when we are dropping off and picking her up at Gramma's house every day. Is it weird that it makes me teary to see her not in her infant car seat?

Avery loves mommy's hair - when she is tired or frustrated, she likes to grab a big handful and rub her face with it. 

 

Avery loves faces - she will lay her little hands so sweetly on your face...then proceed to rip off your skin with her razor blade nails.

To soothe herself or help herself fall asleep, she pats or rubs mommy's arm - I love it.

Avery's bedtime routine is still going really well, but she has started going to bed earlier - around 7:30 pm, and sleeps through the night (unless she wants her paci, then we just get up to give it to her and she goes right back to sleep). 

Most mornings, Avery gets to snuggle in bed with us for a bit - she will wake up, then go right back out as soon as she is between mommy and daddy. It makes for some pretty sweet Sunday mornings :)

Auto still doesn't really like his sister...hopefully he comes around soon.

starting slow and starchy

So, here's the deal:

I think about 2 years ago (?) I tried to be vegan. It lasted about 3 months. I didn't do it right. I mean, I'm sure there's not a right or wrong way to live a healthy and compassionate life, but I didn't go about doing it the right way for me. I tried making separate meals for Seth and I (he is an omnivore), I got over-ambitious, and I bought a lot of meat substitutes, etc. instead of focusing on healthy, whole foods. I also didn't have a real personal reason for adopting the vegan lifestyle other than it seemed to be the right thing to do. 

Well, I've grown up since then and I've now decided to give it another go: I will not create a food rift between myself and my husband - dinner will be vegan meals that he will enjoy or that he can easily add meat/dairy to; I have a good reason - polycystic kidney disease with a future transplant and a diagnosis of gestational diabetes makes me at higher risk for the disease; I know better - meat/dairy subs are ok, but not the healthiest - healthy, whole foods are the way to go; oh, and a video of freed dairy cows running and rolling around like puppies, yeah.

I'm planning on taking this slow rather than jumping right in - cold-turkey vegan is hard. If I allow myself the space for small setbacks, I think I will be more successful in the end. I'm also more educated this time though, so it may be easier to avoid those setbacks. 

This week is the first (of hopefully many) weeks of vegan meal planning for dinners (I only needed very minor adjustments to my food that I bring to work). To start, I made a meal plan of all things that I felt confident that Seth would enjoy. He is supportive of my choices but he's also very picky so in order to eat healthy together, I need to do lots of research and recipe altering. 

Our first all vegan dinner was a success! I chose a recipe that incorporated 2 of Seth's favorite foods: potatoes and bell peppers.

Here's the link to the inspiration for our dinner:

http://cookingstoned.tv/recipe/mashed-potato-stuffed-bell-peppers/

I obviously altered the recipe for the mashed

 taters so that they would be vegan.

Mashed Potato Stuffed Peppers

3 lbs Yukon gold potatoes (I have leftover mashed taters for later in the week now!)

3 large bell peppers 

4 green onions, thinly chopped

1/2 cup unsweetened plain almond milk (at room temp)

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 tbs nutritional yeast (optional, as it really didn't add flavor, you could add more I guess)

1 tsp powdered thyme

2 tsp garlic powder

Fake bacon bits (I think most are vegan)

Salt and pepper to taste 

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. 

Cuts tops off peppers and remove insides and seeds.

Place peppers in a baking dish and bake for about 20 mins, or until wilting and slightly browned.

While peppers are baking, cut potatoes into quarters, leaving the skins on.

Add potatoes to a pot and cover with water. Boil until a fork can pass through a chink of potato easily.

Drain potatoes and return to pot.

Mash first with a masher, then whip with a hand mixer.

When your potatoes are almost at your desired consistency, add all other ingredients besides peppers and finish whipping.

Fill each pepper with mashed potato mixture.

Bake another 10-15 minutes or until potatoes are slightly browning.

If you would like cheese, I think melty cheese on top would be divine :)

Enjoy!

 

hormones are such little bitches

You know what? Some things are just absolute bullshit. Like, I'm trying to lose pregnancy weight, shouldn't that be enough? Nope. 

3 months postpartum ALL OF YOUR HAIR WILL FALL OUT. I mean, I have bald spots. WHAT THE MUTHAFUCKING FUCK?!? 

Apparently this is normal and all of those online baby community boards will tell you so. Those WebMD articles will just tell you it will pass.

Cut your hair, they say. Try out a new part, they say. Wear cute headbands, they say. It only lasts a few months, they say. 

A few months?! Bitch, it's been one month and I don't have hair left to spare for a couple more months! 

You know, as women, we have enough crap going on with hormones that we don't need to add more bullshit. Those little bitch hormones get all happy and built up during pregnancy and will give you a false sense of "omg I'm so pretty and luscious and glowey glowey" when they really just plan on leaving you high and dry after baby is born. 

During pregnancy, your hair gets so thick and pretty because the hormones cause most of the hairs to remain in a resting phase, not falling out at the same pace as they normally would. So when those feel-good-look-good hormones plummet after you birth your kid, those resting phase hairs just fall out. In chunks. Leaving you looking like the fucking Crypt Keeper with all of your bald patches and thin, stringy, dull zombie hair.

There needs to be a support group for postpartum hair loss, I swear. It's making me crazy.

Anyway, here I am, near hairless, and I'm telling you guys that this is bullshit. But it's normal. And it will pass. 

But in the mean time: go treat yourself to some cute-ass headbands because you're gonna wanna cover up that thinning hairline. 

drink your candy (breakfast)

So, I have a sweet tooth. For chocolate. All the time. Always. I want it ALL THE TIME.

The last few weeks, my morning smoothies have been super healthy - kale and fruit with no sweeteners...and I'm bored with it. I needed something new. And I was craving a Mounds bar the other day, so I came up with this gem that tastes just like the candy bar, only...erm...liquified.

Healthy Mounds Candy Bar Smoothie

1/2 frozen banana

1 cup kale, loosely packed

3 heaping tbs shredded coconut (I used sweetened)

1 tbs chia seeds

1 tbs coconut oil (I used Trader Joe's - this has a really coconutty flavor)

1/2 tbs honey (I used organic)

1 tbs unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tbs chocolate protein powder (mine is soy based and has a bland flavor...not sure what brand)

1/4 cup coconut water

1 cup unsweetened coconut milk

Blend well (like, really, really well) and enjoy!!