the easiest damn truffle recipe ever. kinda.

Since I have yet another long weekend coming up (no-strings-attached, paid holidays, hell yes!), I thought I would slowly share our Christmas weekend activities with all y'all. 

Of course a nice long weekend doesn't come without a price, right? Even though my last post started off all "happy-happy-I'm-not-feeling-the-plague-that-wreaks-havoc-over-half-the-world-at-this-time-of-year," that was only Saturday morning. It's now the following Friday and I'm just starting to feel a tiny bit better after spending my holiday blowing my nose until there was no skin left on it and nearly coughing up my unborn child. Yeah, no fun.

So, sickness aside, our Christmas weekend was relaxing and filled with good food and laughs (except when the hubster left to go plow on Christmas eve and I had a hormone-induced breakdown...but that's a story better saved for another post).

Last Friday night, I went to my parents house (which is pretty much what I do every Friday, as the hubby works all night) and the ladies of the family baked and created some delicious treats that may or may not have been a good idea in the health department (by this I mean it was very, very bad in that department).

My mom made some yummy chocolate-covered pretzel sticks:

And my sister (advanced baker that she is) made sugar cookies, from a refrigerated roll:

That being said, I of course have a recipe for you!! Now, I'm sure that if you are a Pinterest fiend like myself, you have already seen and/or made this recipe yourself. But for the sake of documentation (and the fact that I have photos), I will now entertain you with the easiest, most devilishly delicious recipe ever created...

Oreo Truffles

1 pack cream cheese (we used that neufatchel cheese, or whatever its called, because it has like 1/3 of the fat content, but that doesn't make these any healthier, so don't kid yourselves, homies)

1 pack Oreos (we tried one batch with mint and one with regular...both were ah-maz-zing...so do what you want)

1 pack Baker's milk chocolate

Pretty little sprinkles (we used peppermint) for the topping

 

This is where my recipe begins to differ from all those simple ones out there - even though it seems simple enough, its not. Or maybe I'm just lacking in the truffling department.

1. Put the whole pack of Oreos in a gallon ziploc bag and crush up your cookies. I made my dad do this because he was there. And I'm lazy. Don't use a meat tenderizer mallet because it will rip the plastic bag and cookie crumbs will get all over. Trust me.

2. Use a food processor to further crumble the cookies. This I did and was really happy with the results...and fine dirt-like texture is what you are going for, not chunks of Oreo. 

3. This is where it gets...interesting. All of the original recipes say "oh, just throw the cream cheese and cookies together in the food processor and voila! you have truffles!" No. This is not true. I tried this and ended up with a block if cream cheese with cookie crumbs stuck to it. The solution: get your hands dirty! I poured all my shit in a bowl and kneaded that sum-bitch cream cheese with my cookie crumbs until everything was completely mixed together. Take that, truffles!

4. Next, you wanna get a baking pan (don't worry, you won't be using that oven!) and line it with wax or parchment paper. Roll that mofo mixture you just made into balls. Then pop 'em in the fridge for like 20 minutes I guess (obviously I took one glance at the recipe then never looked at it again, so if you were looking for a very detailed and accurate recipe, you should probably look elsewhere).

5. While your truffles are chillaxin', melt your chocolate. Don't use a microwave because that's lazy and you will burn your chocolate. Get your mom to put a pot of water on the stove and boil it with another pot resting on top that has the chocolate in it. Still lazy, but you won't burn that damn chocolate (did I mention that I love my parents?). 

6. Ok. Now here's the trickiest step of all. Again, I used my mom for this. If you were smart, you would get someone to do it for you too. Dip your cooled truffles into that hot, melty chocolate, then place them back on the pan to harden. 

 

 

7. Sprinkle those tasty devils with your choice of topping! I did this part because it was easy and fun. 

And now that I've made myself seem like a lazy, dumbass adult-child who uses her parents for food and completing simple tasks, I hope you try this recipe and enjoy it!