trophy wife

Ah, well, its Monday. Kill me. 

On the bright side, I get to re-live my weekend bake-the-fattest-thing-you-can-think-of-extravaganza to bring you my latest (successful!) recipe! 

So, the hubby had a party to go to on Saturday night. I think I mentioned in a previous post that he has been substitute teaching at the same elementary school for a while - the party was a teacher party, which means lots of drinking, lots of people, lots of socializing for me (ew, no thanks) and showing off my preggo belly (ugh - but not as repulsive as talking to people I don't know), and the obligatory everyone-bring-an-appetizer-or-dessert. 

Seth chose to bring a dessert.

And I had to make it (insert wahwahwah sound here or other equally sad/ disappointing sounding music or tone).

(I have been told to insert here that although I sometimes make him sound like a lazy jerk, Seth is anything but. However, when your wife has to take on all responsiblity for a party YOU were invited to for YOUR job, you deserve a little online and real-life torment. Am I right, ladies?)

Anyway, so I had to make dessert. And of course Seth suggested brownies. And of course my reaction was, "I have to present a dessert to these people and you want me to bring brownies from a box?!? Are you crazy?!? I have to make something awesomely awesome to show off that I am indeed a prize-to-be-had, a trophy wife, if you will! I must be better than everyone else and bring the most delicious dessert their drunken assess will ever lay their tongues upon!" Well, I didn't actually say that, but I sure as hell thought it.

So I spent my Saturday morning slaving away on the internet trying to find the recipe that would satisfy my husband's simple and picky tastebuds as well as the perfectionist in me, and that would awe and inspire his co-workers.

And I found this little gem of a recipe:

Cake Batter Blondies.

Everyone loves cake batter anything!!! And sprinkles!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! Perfection!!!

Here it is then: the perfectly delightful, trophy-wife approved, share-worthy dessert recipe. 

Cake Batter Blondies

1 box white cake mix (I just used cheap, $1 Kroger brand - it was just as delightful as a more expensive brand, I'm sure)

1/4 cup canola oil

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

1/4 cup milk (I used plain, unsweetened almond milk and this turned out just fiiiine)

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 cup white chocolate chips (AND there's like, half a bag left over so I can get fatter than I already am)

1/4 cup rainbow sprinkles

1. Mix together cake mix, milk, whipping cream, oil, vanilla and egg. It was pretty hard to mix with just a spoon - I would suggest trying a hand mixer or, if you are lucky enough to have one, a fancy-schmancy Kitchen Aid mixer.

 

 

2. Add in chocolate chips and sprinkles and mix. This was my favorite part! It's so pretty (and I ate a lot of chocolate chips...oops)!

 

  

3. Bake in 8x8 greased baking pan (I used a different size, not sure what though, and it worked out great - probably smaller, like 5 x 8? Is that a thing?) for 25-40 minutes at 350 degrees.

 

*NOTE: DO NOT OVERCOOK (really, I mean it). Batter will be slightly under-cooked and may even look gooey. Wait 20 minutes before cutting, so bars can set.

 

Seriously do not ignore that note. I baked mine for like, 35 minutes and when I stuck in a toothpick there was still a bit of batter sticking to it (it did not come out completely clean). The result was um, ah-maz-zing! Even after they cooled and sat for a few hours there was still a cake-batter-esque texture and taste to the blondies. YUM - get in mah belly!