Share Your Stories

Hi Readers!

The #YesAllWomen movement has really touched me.  The point of the movement (that’s what I’m calling it now…because, hello?!) is to show people (men and women, alike) that #YesAllWomen are faced with misogyny at some point, in some way. That #YesAllWomen fear the possibility of sexual violence. #YesAllWomen have a story. #YesAllWomen have stories that MATTER.

In my last post, I shared a few stories from my own life. These are memories that I wish I didn’t have. No, I have not been a victim of a larger sexual crime. But that’s not the point. The point is, that no matter how “small” a story may seem, it’s not small. It’s HUGE. All of the instances of women being made to feel as if they owe a man their body, the butt-pinching, the guilt-trips for saying “no,” the harassment for having big boobs (or small boobs) matter. They all matter. Every single one.

So here’s my proposal:

What if we shared our stories with one another? With the world? What if we told our stories and had supportive friends there to tell us, “hey! That’s bullshit!” What if we put our stories out there and let society know that words hurt, that sexual advances are not always welcome, that a slap on the ass isn’t a compliment? What if we shared the small stories and the big stories so that everyone can see that the behavior shouldn’t be considered “normal?” What if these stories helped someone? WHAT IF?

I am teaming up with FUSE (Feminism, Unity, Strength (in numbers), and Equality) to get these stories out in the open and create a new awareness. FUSE is a group dedicated to “empower[ing] women to control and enrich their lives by establishing an online presence to educate and organize…where open dialogue is encouraged and each…contribution is valued. To evolve[ing] from patriarchy so equality and independence thrive.” I couldn’t ask for a better group to host these stories. I just know that the amount of support and unity will be overwhelming. You should totally go “like” their facebook page, We Are FUSE.

I will be posting new stories (anonymous or not!) to my blog each Friday (“Feminist Fridays,” HOLLA!). Please feel free to submit any, I mean ANY, stories that are relevant. Remember: EVERY STORY MATTERS. You matter. Your feelings matter.

Please submit your stories to:confessionsofawannabeshare@gmail.com

 

#YesAllWomen

This is important. So very, very important. 

Did you know that misogyny is so ingrained in our society that some women may not even know when they are being mistreated as a sexual object? It's so common that it's seen as normal when a man treats a woman badly upon her rejection of his advances. It's so rampant that until recently, I didn't even realize that I had been a victim myself. #YesAllWomen are constantly threatened with male violence. #YesAllWomen are affected by misogyny. 

I've decided to share my stories. You know, there are probably more than I can remember, more than I can count. These are going to be blunt and to the point. So sue me. I feel obligated to share my experiences. In light of the death of the great Maya Angelou, I feel that now that I know better, I must do better. Now that I have a daughter, I want her to know that it is her absolute and positive RIGHT stand up in the face of misogyny.

Here are my #YesAllWomen moments:

- I was 13 years old. A family member threw ice down the front of my shirt...then retrieved it with his bare hands. I just told my mom about it last month. I'm 26.

- In 9th grade, a male friend pinched my butt outside the school, in front of the bus loading zone. I told him to knock it off. He "didn't mean anything by it."

- In 10th grade, I was at a beach party with my friends. The guys yelled at my friend and I to "show us your boobs!" My friend did it. I didn't. I was a "loser."

- In 11th grade, I lied to my parents and stayed the night at a friends' house with my boyfriend, his friend and my friend. It was my boyfriend's birthday. He "wanted to see boobs." I chickened out. My friend didn't. My boyfriend got mad at me and thought it was "stupid" that I was angry with my friend. 

- At the end of 12th grade, I was still a virgin. My boyfriend asked if he could "just put it in for a second." I said no. He got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

- In my sophomore year of college, I started hanging out with a friend from high school. One day, he asked me out. I told him no, I only think of him as a friend. He told me that "the best relationships start with friendship." I said no again. He called me a "bitch." We never spoke again.

These are just a few scenarios. I'm sure that there were more, and I'm sure other women have experienced much worse. But the main point is:

#YESALLWOMEN 

What's your story?