Did you know that misogyny is so ingrained in our society that some women may not even know when they are being mistreated as a sexual object? It's so common that it's seen as normal when a man treats a woman badly upon her rejection of his advances. It's so rampant that until recently, I didn't even realize that I had been a victim myself. #YesAllWomen are constantly threatened with male violence. #YesAllWomen are affected by misogyny.
I've decided to share my stories. You know, there are probably more than I can remember, more than I can count. These are going to be blunt and to the point. So sue me. I feel obligated to share my experiences. In light of the death of the great Maya Angelou, I feel that now that I know better, I must do better. Now that I have a daughter, I want her to know that it is her absolute and positive RIGHT stand up in the face of misogyny.
Here are my #YesAllWomen moments:
- I was 13 years old. A family member threw ice down the front of my shirt...then retrieved it with his bare hands. I just told my mom about it last month. I'm 26.
- In 9th grade, a male friend pinched my butt outside the school, in front of the bus loading zone. I told him to knock it off. He "didn't mean anything by it."
- In 10th grade, I was at a beach party with my friends. The guys yelled at my friend and I to "show us your boobs!" My friend did it. I didn't. I was a "loser."
- In 11th grade, I lied to my parents and stayed the night at a friends' house with my boyfriend, his friend and my friend. It was my boyfriend's birthday. He "wanted to see boobs." I chickened out. My friend didn't. My boyfriend got mad at me and thought it was "stupid" that I was angry with my friend.
- At the end of 12th grade, I was still a virgin. My boyfriend asked if he could "just put it in for a second." I said no. He got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night.
- In my sophomore year of college, I started hanging out with a friend from high school. One day, he asked me out. I told him no, I only think of him as a friend. He told me that "the best relationships start with friendship." I said no again. He called me a "bitch." We never spoke again.
These are just a few scenarios. I'm sure that there were more, and I'm sure other women have experienced much worse. But the main point is:
#YESALLWOMEN
What's your story?
When I was 14, a boy in my communications class grabbed me by the neck, pushed my face into his crotch and told me to give him head.
ReplyDelete15, there were two boys who would constantly touch me even when I said "no" (one put his hands between my thighs in the middle of biology).
15-16 my male former-Spanish teacher (who creeped me out when he was my teacher) would basically follow me down the hall or get in my face if I ignored him when he said "hi" to me.
23, there was a man who lived on the same floor of my apartment building, who would block me on the stairwell, a few times on the sidewalk when I was on the way to the grocery store. I repeatedly told him I wasn't interested, but that wasn't "good enough."
#YESALLWOMEN
When I was 25, I was invited out with some friends to go drinking in Detroit. I was worried about drinking and driving home, so my long term guy friend offered to let me park my car in his loft's secured parking and I could crash on his couch for the night.
ReplyDeleteI woke up with him standing over me, drunk, and asking for sex. He kept pulling my pants down and trying to force himself on me.
I told him no multiple times until I kicked him and he got off me and went back to his room. I cried and got the hell out of there and walked to the parking lot alone in Detroit at 4 am.
I deleted and blocked him on facebook. He still tried to text me and kept asking "what did I do wrong?"
I'm just now getting to these but...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for sharing!
ReplyDelete