becoming mom

Our little peanut of a daughter, Avery Rozz Stern, was born on Friday, April 12, 2013, and boy was it a wild ride!

I had an OB appointment on Thursday and was diagnosed with preeclampsia - my blood pressures had been rising steadily for the past 2 weeks. Preeclampsia is no joke, even at 39 weeks gestational age, and when combined with my gestational diabetes and the fact that Avery hadn't been moving much that day, was enough for my doctor to send me straight to the hospital for an induction...which was definitely not part of my birth plan!

We left the doctors office with no bags ready (they were at home, mostly packed) and scared out of our minds. When I arrived at the hospital, I was met with kind words of encouragement and support as I was still hoping for a natural delivery. There were a few options for induction that my doctor was considering - cervadil and cytotec were 2 of them - and it was decided that I would be started on cervadil. Cervadil is a cervix ripening agent that looks like a tampon - it inserts into the cervix, releases its meds to work it's magic, then is taken out before pitocin is given to amp up contractions. After I got the news about the cervadil, I was told that I needed to be placed on magnesium sulfate as well - an IV drip that would help prevent seizures that could be caused by the preeclampsia (see? I said it was serious!) but that would also require me to be bed ridden for my entire labor and delivery. I began to have a slight meltdown at this point because nothing I had hoped for was happening. So I got the cervadil, and I got the magnesium, and I told them, no I would not like an epidural - I still wanted to try to keep this as natural as possible, I wanted to fully experience the birth of our little girl.
When the cervadil was inserted, I was only 1 cm dilated and 20% effaced, and Avery was still up pretty high (-2 station). Cervadil generally takes about 12 hours to work and only 10% of women can be set into labor with just that and no pitocin - I was one of the lucky ones. After an hour and a half with the cervadil, I was contracting for about a minute every minute, so needless to say, I didn't require pitocin to amp up my labor. And being hooked up to the magnesium already, I couldn't get out of bed to try any of the pain relief measures that I had practiced and researched for weeks. So I breathed through them. Then the back labor began soon after.

My back labor was so bad that I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. It had me begging for the epidural that I didn't want (during this crazy beginning, Seth wasn't even with me - he was at home getting our bags because we thought we would be waiting all night! I had to make the nurse call him at one point and tell him to get back to the hospital before I had the baby, and he was worried that he couldn't find my sports bra to pack!).

Before Seth returned, I had made the decision to get an epidural. I knew that if I didn't, I would never have the energy to labor while restricted to bed then push my baby girl out. The relief from the epidural was incredible and I was able to rest.

Until it wasn't.

My back labor grew to be so awful that it cut through my epidural - I could feel every bone wracking cramp and there was no relief at all. By the time I delivered (within about a 4 hour period) I had had 3 extra boluses of pain medication in my epidural. This was a far cry from the natural delivery that I had imagined and wanted, but I know that under the circumstances I was dealt, there was no better way for me to cope with the pain.
I tried to sit in a yoga childs pose to ease some of the pain as well, but my epidural and already swollen legs made me not be able to feel my feet and i needed to be flipped back over. I was promptly put on oxygen as the flip made me lightheaded and woozy and caused Averys heart rate to drop. At one point, my doctor thought that I could be ready to push - I had progressed so quickly that I was already 10 cm and completely effaced by 5 in the morning - so I tried. Avery was still not down far enough, so although those few pushes helped a bit, I was not at a point where I could push to my full strength. So I was given another bolus of meds to ease my pain (which didn't work well) and I tried to rest up for the real deal.

Finally I was feeling a real urge to push, but I still had immense back labor on top of that. So I pushed lying in bed on my side because I was in too much pain to move.

Seth helped me hold my leg up and I pushed with everything I had. The nurses tell me I only pushed for about 15 minutes, then our daughter was here. I don't remember that, but I do remember my sweet baby giving me one last kick to the gut even as her head was coming out!

Even though my birth experience didn't go even close to how it was planned, I'm thankful for it. I know I am strong, and I know that my body can do amazing things. My mind and will to fight for my daughter is strong as well - I was able to put aside my own selfish wants in order to make her entrance into the world as safe as possible.

I wouldn't change a thing.

get in mah belly

Yay!! A food post! Finally! It's only been like, 19 years! Ok, not quite that long, but I haven't made a food post since the beginning of this blog. Of course I only have a picture of the finished product (which is gorgeous, by the way) so you won't get to actually see the steps it takes to create this masterpiece, but I'm gonna give you the recipe!

Oh, and if you have a super picky significant other like I do, you really can't go wrong with this recipe (except I did get a "I could do without the Rotel" - but seriously?!? It's like teeny tomato pieces...he picked them out anyway,ugh).

Spicy Sausage Skillet Pasta

(This can be made vegetarian too - just omit the sausage, sub water for the chicky broth and add some broccoli or spinach or tofu or...ah the possibilities!! I must try some)

1 tbs olive oil
1 lb smoked sausage, sliced into 1/4" slices (I used smoked turkey sausage)
1.5 cups onion, diced (I just used a whole small onion)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups chicken broth (I used organic)
1 can Rotel tomatoes and green chiles
1/2 cup heavy cream (I used whipping cream (is that the same thing?) - it did the job)
1 box pasta (I used penne)
1/2 tsp each salt and pepper
1 cup Monterey Jack cheese, shredded (um, I used a whole bag which is probably more than a cup...oh well)
1/3 cup scallions, thinly sliced

1. Using an oven safe skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat until slightly smoking. Add onions and sausage and cook until lightly browned (about 4 minutes or so). Add the garlic and cook until fragrant (like 30 seconds-ish).

2. Add broth, cream, tomatoes, pasta (uncooked), and salt and pepper. Stir until well mixed and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and allow to simmer until pasta is tender (15-20 minutes).

3. Remove skillet from heat and add half of the cheese, mixing well. Sprinkle the other half of the cheese over the top and top with scallions.

4. Put the skillet under the broiler until the cheese on top is bubbly with little brown spots.

5. Behold your masterpiece.

Note: remember to use hot mitts when grabbing your skillet off of the stove or from the oven - shit's hot!! Also, keep the handle covered with a towel when serving because its likely that your significant other will grab the handle while trying to pile as much food as possible onto his plate. Then he will complain about Rotel chunkies and you will wish you had let him burn himself.

operation baby expeller: plan of attack

As of yesterday, Avery and I were officially full term baby and mama. This may sound like just another tired pregnant woman complaining but I'm ready for this kid to get out of me. As far as discomfort goes, it's not too bad, that isn't the problem (although I do have itchy skin ALL OVER MY BODY). My swelling legs, ankles and feet are a bit disconcerting, but manageable. I'm mostly just really excited to meet our little lady - and wanting to avoid induction at all costs.

With the gestational diabetes (under control ), swelling, and a borderline high blood pressure yesterday, I am a bit concerned about what more time being pregnant means for our birth plan. I'm already looking at being pumped with antibiotics during labor ( 1 in 3 women are positive for group b streptococcus...and wouldn't you know it? I'm one of them!). I really want to try to have this birth go as naturally as possible - and I know things don't always go according to plan, but since when is having a goal a crime?

I also realize the importance of baby cooking until she's good and ready to come out and meet the world. My mommy intuition tells me that she's ready though. I feel as though I wouldn't feel as ready as I am unless I had some inner peace of mind that she is as ready as I am. This may sound like complete BS to you, but I feel that there is something to be said for the connection between mama and the baby in her belly (we ARE literally connected).

So in an effort to get this kid outta me in a safe, natural way before the docs decide to shoot me up with pitocin, I've compiled a plan of attack:

1. Walking - I'm starting to walk more while at work (even though my ankles are swollen) and even taking the stairs up to my office (at a very slow pace, of course). I also have a girl date coming up tomorrow to walk around the mall.
2. Acidophilus probiotics - with my GBS diagnosis and impending round of antibiotics, I want to make sure I don't get a yeast infection or thrush after delivery (yeast infection after delivery would be absolutely miserable for one, and secondly, thrush would be painful and possibly a hinderance to my breastfeeding goals).
3. Evening primrose oil capsules - these will not start labor as is commonly thought, but will help to soften my cervix and get it ready to dilate. I will be taking them both orally and vaginally (to get more direct benefit). I've read that some women take these and have super easy labor with minimal to no tearing - if that isn't a good enough reason to try this, I don't know what is.
4. Red raspberry leaf tea - just drinking this can help prepare my uterus and cervix for labor.
5. A drive down a bumpy road - Seth is really excited about this one and is probably hoping to take my mom's Jeep for an off-roading adventure.
6. Pedicure - getting one tomorrow mostly because I want cute toes and someone to rub my feet. But if they can press the right spots and help labor start, I'm not complaining!

a chill project

Our refrigerator is weird. And disorganized. I mean, the outside is. The inside is alright. Anyway, if you've been to our house, you know that it's small and that our refrigerator makes a wall for our living room. Ugh. I don't have a picture, although I really should have taken one so that if you haven't been over, you would know what I mean. It's ugg. I hate it. And I've refused to utilize the living room side of the fridge for magnets and other stuff, so the kitchen side of the fridge gets a bit overcrowded and well, ugly.

Since my legs have been swelling up every day of my life (since about 2 weeks ago), I've become bored with "taking it easy" so I decided to organize the side of my fridge. I know - not a big project, but it gave me something to do last Friday night when I was home alone.

Unfortunately, I don't have a before picture of the mess that was the side of my refrigerator, but just imagine a bunch of stuff stuck to it and a calendar that was stuck on November 2012. Yeah.

What I came up with instead includes: an updated calendar, designated places for my grocery list, coupons and weekly meal plan, and a cute set up with clothes pins and string for photos that we like to keep in view.

I'm hoping that once Avery is here, we can take a trip to the Target dollar bins and find some cute magnetic organizers to make this look a bit more pulled together, but until then this is what we have:

99 problems but an itch ain't one

I'm really excited about this blog post title. Like, unnecessarily excited...especially because it isn't true.

Most of you know that I went from having a glorious pregnancy to having it all go in the shitter when I hit the third trimester: gestational diabetes (wha??), a high blood pressure/swelling scare (c'mon now), and now a rash (ew). Since this rash is the newest addition to my list of "pregnancy ailments that no one thought Heather would get," I'll talk about that.

Right now I'm in the bath. Yes, I am blogging naked and no, I don't care. I will care, however, if I drop my new iPhone 5 in the water because I will be sad (and Seth will most likely strangle me). You wanna know why I'm blogging in the bath? Well, I don't really have a great reason for that other than I feel like it. I'm taking a bath with ACV. Yep, a vinegar bath. Sounds gross. Probably smells gross too, but since I have a nasty cold the scent isn't a bother because I can't breathe anyway.

Did you know that apple cider vinegar is like, a hippy's BFF (right up there with coconut oil)? It is seriously so good for you. I've read that you should drink some every day and you will live to be 956 years old (that's not true, I made that up - but it's hella good for you). I recently made up my cold concoction (ACV, cayenne, honey, water) and slurped some down to soothe my achy throat...it worked. Now, I'm drenching my whole body in the stuff (just the ACV, not the other stuff - ouch, cayenne amiright, ladies?).

Back to my rash (I know - you were dying to hear about it). It's on my belly, under my belly button...and I'm pretty sure it's spread to my hips, ankles and maybe my arms (I have an itch there now). It's just little red bumps but itches like a mofo!! I searched the Internet for a natural, hippie-mama way to alleviate some of the annoying itch and came up with this:

Warm/hot bath
1 cup apple cider vinegar (I always use the organic, unfiltered kind)

Soak your bod for at least 20 minutes.

As I'm relaxing here, I've noticed that its actually cleaning my tub some (definite plus) and that it turns the water a little brown (the ACV, not the junk from my tub). Also, it kinda tingles my skin (me likey).

Although I'm missing my eucalyptus bath right now, I'm thinking that maybe my over use of that stuff could be contributing to my rash - or I could just have another crazy preggo ailment like PUPPPS. Good gawd, lets hope not (I'm already seeing my doctors twice a week. If I get anything else they will have me moving in with one of them).

So lets hope the title of my post rings true after my bath. Cuz I already gots me 99 problems...and an itch IS one (for now).