Breastfeeding in Public: It's None of Your Damn Business

Have you guys heard about the woman who breastfed during her college graduation ceremony and had a photo taken while nursing?

You can read about it here if you haven't yet:

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5474420

So here's the deal:

WHO FUCKING CARES?!

This woman is (in my opinion) an inspiration:

1. A single mother

2. Gave birth one week into her final semester is college

3. Continued and finished school

4. Graduated with a Bachelors degree

5. Is able to breastfeed her child

Please give me one reason why this hardworking woman should NOT be able to FEED HER BABY WHO IS HUNGRY anywhere she damn well pleases?

Oh, you say she should cover up? Use a nursing cover? Do you know that this graduation was in California and in JUNE?! Who the hell would want to have on a cover (in addition to a graduation gown!) in that kind of heat? Furthermore, what baby would want their face covered up in that kind of heat?

Oh, she should have just gone to the bathroom? GROSS. Let me see you go have a bite to eat in the same place where people take a crap. Go on.

Oh, a graduation ceremony just isn't the time or place for breastfeeding? So her baby should just starve and scream her head off during the ceremony? That's better. Oh, she should've just given her a bottle. Pause.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BREASTFEED?

1. Sometimes it takes weeks, nay, MONTHS to become comfortable and successful. 

2. Some moms have to pump EVERY 2 HOURS to keep up a supply. That includes during the night.

3. Giving a breastfed baby a bottle can (but not always in some cases) deter a baby from taking the breast and even lower the mothers supply. 

This mother has studied her ass off, grown a baby, pushed a baby out of her vagina (or had a cesarean, but that's neither here nor there), worked hard at feeding her baby, ALL ON HER FUCKING OWN. Oh, and GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE. And people have the audacity to comment on her photo - HER PROUDEST MOMENT OF HER LIFE - to say that she was "wrong" and a "ho."

Here are some tips for anyone who is "uncomfortable" with public breastfeeding:

1. It's none of your damn business

2. Don't look

3. That mom doesn't want to know what you think about it unless it's something along the lines of, "You're a good mom."

I only breastfed my daughter for 3 weeks. Kind of. And never in public. BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO BE DAMNED IF YOU THINK I WILL NOT STICK UP FOR THOSE WOMEN THAT CAN AND DO.

Floppity-flop-flop

So, last Friday I posted that:

YAY WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO USE THIS BLOG AS A VENUE TO SHARE OUR WOMAN STORIES AND CHANGE THE WORLD. 

Yeah. 

I didn't receive a single story (except for the 2 that are comments on my original post - HOLLA LADIES!).

Lesson:

It takes a lot to change the world. To change society's ways of thinking. 

But I do feel like I reached a few people by sharing my own stories. And I know that it's hard to tell your stories, even the small ones. I know that it may feel like your story doesn't "measure up" unless you were raped or worse. BUT YOUR STORIES DO MATTER. All of them. 

Just know that if your story made your feel vulnerable or uncomfortable or confused - those are valid feelings. You don't have to feel as if you have no right to feel that way because your story "isn't that bad." 

Anyway, as the #YesAllWomen train is dying down, don't forget what the point is: You matter. We matter. 

Share Your Stories

Hi Readers!

The #YesAllWomen movement has really touched me.  The point of the movement (that’s what I’m calling it now…because, hello?!) is to show people (men and women, alike) that #YesAllWomen are faced with misogyny at some point, in some way. That #YesAllWomen fear the possibility of sexual violence. #YesAllWomen have a story. #YesAllWomen have stories that MATTER.

In my last post, I shared a few stories from my own life. These are memories that I wish I didn’t have. No, I have not been a victim of a larger sexual crime. But that’s not the point. The point is, that no matter how “small” a story may seem, it’s not small. It’s HUGE. All of the instances of women being made to feel as if they owe a man their body, the butt-pinching, the guilt-trips for saying “no,” the harassment for having big boobs (or small boobs) matter. They all matter. Every single one.

So here’s my proposal:

What if we shared our stories with one another? With the world? What if we told our stories and had supportive friends there to tell us, “hey! That’s bullshit!” What if we put our stories out there and let society know that words hurt, that sexual advances are not always welcome, that a slap on the ass isn’t a compliment? What if we shared the small stories and the big stories so that everyone can see that the behavior shouldn’t be considered “normal?” What if these stories helped someone? WHAT IF?

I am teaming up with FUSE (Feminism, Unity, Strength (in numbers), and Equality) to get these stories out in the open and create a new awareness. FUSE is a group dedicated to “empower[ing] women to control and enrich their lives by establishing an online presence to educate and organize…where open dialogue is encouraged and each…contribution is valued. To evolve[ing] from patriarchy so equality and independence thrive.” I couldn’t ask for a better group to host these stories. I just know that the amount of support and unity will be overwhelming. You should totally go “like” their facebook page, We Are FUSE.

I will be posting new stories (anonymous or not!) to my blog each Friday (“Feminist Fridays,” HOLLA!). Please feel free to submit any, I mean ANY, stories that are relevant. Remember: EVERY STORY MATTERS. You matter. Your feelings matter.

Please submit your stories to:confessionsofawannabeshare@gmail.com

 

#YesAllWomen

This is important. So very, very important. 

Did you know that misogyny is so ingrained in our society that some women may not even know when they are being mistreated as a sexual object? It's so common that it's seen as normal when a man treats a woman badly upon her rejection of his advances. It's so rampant that until recently, I didn't even realize that I had been a victim myself. #YesAllWomen are constantly threatened with male violence. #YesAllWomen are affected by misogyny. 

I've decided to share my stories. You know, there are probably more than I can remember, more than I can count. These are going to be blunt and to the point. So sue me. I feel obligated to share my experiences. In light of the death of the great Maya Angelou, I feel that now that I know better, I must do better. Now that I have a daughter, I want her to know that it is her absolute and positive RIGHT stand up in the face of misogyny.

Here are my #YesAllWomen moments:

- I was 13 years old. A family member threw ice down the front of my shirt...then retrieved it with his bare hands. I just told my mom about it last month. I'm 26.

- In 9th grade, a male friend pinched my butt outside the school, in front of the bus loading zone. I told him to knock it off. He "didn't mean anything by it."

- In 10th grade, I was at a beach party with my friends. The guys yelled at my friend and I to "show us your boobs!" My friend did it. I didn't. I was a "loser."

- In 11th grade, I lied to my parents and stayed the night at a friends' house with my boyfriend, his friend and my friend. It was my boyfriend's birthday. He "wanted to see boobs." I chickened out. My friend didn't. My boyfriend got mad at me and thought it was "stupid" that I was angry with my friend. 

- At the end of 12th grade, I was still a virgin. My boyfriend asked if he could "just put it in for a second." I said no. He got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

- In my sophomore year of college, I started hanging out with a friend from high school. One day, he asked me out. I told him no, I only think of him as a friend. He told me that "the best relationships start with friendship." I said no again. He called me a "bitch." We never spoke again.

These are just a few scenarios. I'm sure that there were more, and I'm sure other women have experienced much worse. But the main point is:

#YESALLWOMEN 

What's your story?

Avery is 11 Months Old!

So, next month Avery will be A YEAR OLD. Um...WHAT?!

As far as the next month goes...we are planning on having just a small birthday party at our home with family and some cake. Avery doesn't need much more than that. From us, Avery will be getting a  10 day punch card for Bounce in Hartland, where she can participate in "preschool playtime," using all of the gymnastics equipment they have there. She's going to LOVE it.

Here's a little update on our sweet pea:

She's still a peanut (with a big belly, lol) : 9 month clothing fits her just fine, thankyouverymuch.

6 teeth...and counting. Oh, and are those sharp little buggers. She's bitten a few times...not in anger though. I think she uses her teeth to help her stand sometimes...or something. 

WE HAVE A (kinda) WALKER. Avery has (on numerous occasions) taken up to 4 steps at a time. She still thinks crawling is faster, and for her, it is.

She doesn't want her diaper changed, no way, no how. It takes 2 people most times. Yesterday, she caused a scene in the Costco bathroom...let's just say it involved a bare shitty ass on the changing table. It wasn't pretty.

Bath time is still the best! Avery got some new toys for the bath and just loves to play in the water!

She's a really good eater. If we go out, the waiters are always shocked at how much this kid can put away.

Favorite snack: seaweed. Yes, seaweed. Look, I didn't know it would be a thing. It's weird. She LOVES it.

Still sharing the bed with mommy and daddy. I think dad is getting tired of it, but as much as I don't enjoy Avery being restless during the night, I love her snuggles even more.

We're down to 2 babas a day - one in the morning and one at night. Occasionally she will take a bottle midday, but not often, and it's not a formula one, but almond milk.

Avery says, "mama," "didi (dada)," and shakes her head "no" when she doesn't want something or when she knows we are telling her "no." (She's been doing that for a while now, though)

Avery loves to dance!

Disney Jr. Is her fave channel: Doc McStuffins, Sofia the First, and Sheriff Callie's Wild West are her favorite shows.

She loves her books (just like mommy)!

Her hair keeps getting thicker and curlier by the day.

Avery has some cool new kicks (Nikes) that daddy bought her last weekend! She loves standing with them on.

And Avery had her very first pedicure this weekend: pretty pink little toesies!

I think that's all the updates on our big, beautiful girl!