hormones are such little bitches

You know what? Some things are just absolute bullshit. Like, I'm trying to lose pregnancy weight, shouldn't that be enough? Nope. 

3 months postpartum ALL OF YOUR HAIR WILL FALL OUT. I mean, I have bald spots. WHAT THE MUTHAFUCKING FUCK?!? 

Apparently this is normal and all of those online baby community boards will tell you so. Those WebMD articles will just tell you it will pass.

Cut your hair, they say. Try out a new part, they say. Wear cute headbands, they say. It only lasts a few months, they say. 

A few months?! Bitch, it's been one month and I don't have hair left to spare for a couple more months! 

You know, as women, we have enough crap going on with hormones that we don't need to add more bullshit. Those little bitch hormones get all happy and built up during pregnancy and will give you a false sense of "omg I'm so pretty and luscious and glowey glowey" when they really just plan on leaving you high and dry after baby is born. 

During pregnancy, your hair gets so thick and pretty because the hormones cause most of the hairs to remain in a resting phase, not falling out at the same pace as they normally would. So when those feel-good-look-good hormones plummet after you birth your kid, those resting phase hairs just fall out. In chunks. Leaving you looking like the fucking Crypt Keeper with all of your bald patches and thin, stringy, dull zombie hair.

There needs to be a support group for postpartum hair loss, I swear. It's making me crazy.

Anyway, here I am, near hairless, and I'm telling you guys that this is bullshit. But it's normal. And it will pass. 

But in the mean time: go treat yourself to some cute-ass headbands because you're gonna wanna cover up that thinning hairline.