Life is full of surprises. Things that we don't expect to happen often do. That's why my birth plan leaves space for different possibilities (cesarean, drugs, etc.). I've kept an open mind about all of that as well as if breastfeeding doesn't work out. All the big things. I don't want to feel like a failure so I've started preparing myself for the and, if's and buts that come at delivery and after the baby is here.
I didn't expect to have to worry about anything until then.
Yesterday I got a call from my OB telling me that my 3 hour blood glucose test came back abnormal. And that she was extremely surprised. So was I. I still am.
This means that I have gestational diabetes.
I will be meeting with a maternal fetal medicine specialist later this week, as well as a dietician. I will go on a special diet and have my blood sugar monitored for a few weeks. Then hopefully my blood sugar will be stable. If not, my next step is medication.
I know that this is just a temporary condition - it will resolve after Avery is born. But on Sunday night, I was just laughing with my friends Michelle and Melissa about how easy my pregnancy has been (no problems whatsoever - Michelle called me the "pregnancy goddess"). As a person who has not had any health issues before, this diagnosis comes as a low blow.
The stigma surrounding this condition definitely doesn't help me cope with it. A girl I work with said, "I thought only fat people get gestational diabetes?" This bothered me. Sadly, that's what I had thought too. So I started to do a little research.
In pregnancy, your body is outta whack. That's just how it is. And that includes not only noticeable things (morning sickness, aches and pains, etc.) but also not so noticeable things. Your body is busy doing other things (like growing a person) so it forgets to regulate other things: yeast levels (gross, but true), blood pressure, and blood sugar. The bigger the placenta gets, the more difficult a time the pregnant body has regulating blood sugar. In a normal person, the kidneys and pancreas would just correct this. In my body, not so much. So reading these things made me feel a little better: my gestational diabetes was likely just caused by me being pregnant, not by anything I did or didn't do.
Last night I went out and bought a new planner. I'm going to start keeping a food log and changing my diet before I even meet with the dietician. I want to give Avery the best start possible and I need to start now. I looked up a typical diet for gestational diabetes - and its not too different from what I've been eating. I can see that being a problem. So I looked for something a little more extreme.
I found this story and meal plan and felt a connection right away. No, I'm not Vegan. But I try to be healthy. And I can relate to this woman's story. It's helped me feel a little better about my situation. Her meal plan is something doable for me - I plan on adding real meat to it and altering the dinners to still fit mine and Seth's lifestyle. We went shopping last night and I bought pretty much exactly what is on her breakfast, lunch and snack list. My dinners will be either protein packed or salads. This is a diet that I can do, that I'm ok with, and that I'm confident will help me.
I'm willing to do anything to ensure that I can still try for a natural birth. I may have gestational diabetes, but I'm not going to let someone tell me that I should get induced or that I will probably need a c-section. If those end up being my only options after I've tried everything, then fine. But I want to know that I did everything I could. I don't want to let my little girl get too big, or to have low blood sugar to compensate for what my body can't do for itself. It breaks my heart knowing that my body's issues can affect her sweet little one. I don't want to let it happen.
And I won't.
[pictured: green protein smoothie - 1/2 frozen banana, 1cup frozen raspberries, 1 cup plain unsweetened almond milk, 2 explode vanilla protein powder, 1tbs flax meal, generous handful spinach]
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